“Hey, Jeanetta that seems like a crazy subject!”
Of all the things I’ve been reading about Costa Rica no one has addressed the problems some women have with their husbands leaving them for a brighter future with a younger woman.
Well ladies that is not a problem of this century, that is a problem of the centuries. It seems to me that when men reach a certain age and their hair starts falling out, they think if the get a younger woman they will somehow be able to maintain their youth.
Well you and I know what the guy is capable of and the reason he is old is not because he is married to an old lady. He is old or getting older because his testosterone levels are dropping and your hormones are dropping as well.
Just like we women are lifting everything up, the guys are doing the same.
Some designer drugs have made the dead come to life. These drugs are more available here in Costa Rica without a prescription and that availability has made some guys feel like they have found the fountain of youth.
I cannot blame a man for wanting a younger woman. Just think about it this way ladies, do you like a guy who has abdominals that look like a 6 pack or do you want a guy whose belly is so big he can not see his knees?
I think men forget that everything on them sags and wrinkles just like we sag and wrinkle.
Everyone concentrates on the youth or the age of a woman. Turn and look at your husband ladies, is he the hard body you fell in love with? The only problem our society has is that we look at the aging of women and ignore the aging process of men.
We all get wrinkled, tired and old.
Since the advent of some medications men have gotten a second chance, or at least they advertise the pill with this hope. I think some men actually think or either hope that that a pill will help them perform with renewed youth.
Ladies they don’t often discuss it but some of them need to take a lot of those pills before youth renewal comes around. So girls, do not get frustrated and start feeling bad!
Before you go through feeling sorry for yourself and feel hopeless, take care of your business. Get yourself a lawyer, find out what sort of collateral damage could result from your husbands’ love affair!
Find out what the laws are in this country pertaining to your rights. After you take care of yourself legally, you will have plenty of time to feel sorry for yourself for losing your husband or soul mate.
Did you know that paternity does not have to be proven in Costa Rica?
If your husbands’ new found love gets pregnant, even though he had a vasectomy 20 years ago – that means nothing. All the young women has to do is point to him and say he is Daddy. They don’t do any testing to prove it or disprove the allegations. This can greatly affect your property ownership.
You may have already lost your husband to a younger woman, but why should you lose your property?
Sometimes I wonder where our female heads are at, we get emotional and allow ourselves to be stripped of everything we have worked to build. As I said, get your crying and feeling sorry for yourself out of the way after your TCB, take care of business. Do not jump up and go back to the US until you have made sure that everything has been taken care of…
Let me also say this, an older man is not the only one looking for someone younger, there are some women who are older that are looking for younger men as well. It is just more prevalent among men then women. Plus women usually have more to lose financially when a mate is unfaithful.
Here in Costa Rica the advantage an older guy has rather then in the USA or Canada, the women here are so far down the economic scale and the hope of pulling yourself out of poverty by way of employment is not as available here as it is in the US and some other more progressive countries. So, a young girl often grows up with the hopes of marrying an older man. Some parents encourage this type of marriage because it also helps them.
There is no doubt that Cost Rican women are beautiful and they have an attractive submissive charm. That submissive charm can sometimes hide a different character that comes out when a guy makes a commitment… That shy bashful woman can turn into a piranha over night.
If you are deciding to come to Costa Rica with your husband make sure that all of your finances are secure. In the US the law in most states is if the husband dies the property goes to the wife. We have many states that are joint property states.
It is not easy for property to be attached to a lawsuit. Plus in the US you can take a woman to court and sue her for “alienation of affection” or bring charges of adultery against them. Even though a lot of people practice adultery in the US, that does not mean it is not illegal. I don’t know about the laws in Costa Rica in regards to those things.
What I’ve found is that most women who have loved and lost, just leave Costa Rica with out taking care of their business.
When I was young we lived close to the Air Force base and during that time every girl had here eye on marrying a soldier. One reason was that a soldier had a job and there were benefits paid to dependents.
So, some of the girls got pregnant just so they could get the soldier to marry her or either be responsible for paying support for the child she was expecting. That was during the time women saw their only career avenue as a housewife and mother. The economic opportunities that are available now in the US were not available way back then in the 1950’s.
Here in Costa Rica some of the young women marry and older guy, get pregnant and if that older guy is getting Social Security she will now get income payable because he now has a wife with a dependent child. Usually the income is $500+ a month, which may not seem like a lot of money, but in Costa Rica that is a very good income for many people.
If you love your husband, don’t get so frustrated and embarrassed about your situation. It is a problem that women throughout the centuries have experienced. You are not the only one it has happened to. You can even read stories in the bible about men leaving their wives for other women. Remember David and Bathsheba?
We don’t have to go back that far, do you remember Bill and Hillary Clinton? I love Hilary, she did not allow that younger woman destroy her life nor marriage. She did not give in or give up. Her future was worth pursuing and her past was worth preserving.
Does every woman who comes to Costa Rica have this problem? No, but many do, let’s just say there are enough women having this problem to discuss it.
There are so many wonderful things about Costa Rica and they should be highlighted and talked about. We also have some problems here in our community of foreigners as well and they need to be discussed.
Loss of money in bad property investments is not the only way you can lose here. There are many other things you should check out and be prepared for. That does not mean that if you move here, you need to follow your husband every where he goes.
If your partner decides to leave you, no matter what you do they are probably going to leave. You should just be prepared personally and financially.
There are three things that can separate you and change the course of your life and they are death, desertion and divorce. All of them can leave you a wreck both financially and personally. If you move to Costa Rica, make sure you know what you would do in any of these cases.
My husband died, and upon his death over 50% of my income was lost. You have to be ready for that, it is a must that you prepare for those unplanned incidents.
Your grief is the same really and your frustration is the same. Before my husband died, if you would have told me that my frustration would be the same as if he had left me for another woman, I would have told you that you are crazy. In fact it is actually worse, because I cannot call him and fuss nor can I threaten him or challenge him to change his ways and come to his senses.
It is just as hard to say “my husband died” as it is to say he left me or divorced me. The things I’ve found that have been an advantage for me here in Costa Rica is that the community I’m living in here in Grecia is so loving, supportive and understanding. I don’t feel left alone, so many of my friends call, e-mail or stop by to see how I’m doing.
If I return to the US it will because it is a personal choice and not because I have to. In Costa Rica I can survive on 50% less income very well. My lifestyle has not changed very much except instead of having a warm body in bed next to me I have replaced the warm body for a hot water bottle.
The hot water bottle is not the same but the hot water bottle gives me no lip and when it gets cold, I just get up, fill it up with more hot water then return to bed. The name of my hot water bottle is Charlie.
Every morning I get up, go to the gym and then return home sit on my terrace and enjoy a great breakfast. I’m living in paradise, what better place to be left in. I’m so glad that since Charles had to leave that he left me in such a beautiful place.
If you come to Costa Rica stop by for a cup of coffee at La Terraza Guest House in Grecia…
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Written by Jeanetta Owens who owns the lovely La Terraza B&B in Grecia which is about one hour from San José, Costa Rica. For a taste of living the good life in Grecia, Costa Rica, may we suggest you to book yourself into Jeanetta’s B&B for a nice long vacation.
Jeanetta’s B&B has been rated the #1 B&B in Grecia, Costa Rica by Trip Advisor. You can find her blog here at La Terraza Blog
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