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In my various research about Costa Rica, I have come across many stories and anecdotes to describe the purported ‘enigmatic’ behavior of Ticos. Of course there are also many stories of “Ladrones”, crooked lawyers and other perils to the too trusting that lend a somewhat sobering reality to perceptions of the culture, which are certainly endemic to many other economically deprived places around the world.
It seems the more I view this blog that is written mostly by people that live here, I read about everyday acts of Tico kindness and diligence to task in these stories toward some of the Gringo transplants that now call CR home that sort of end up ‘in the fabric’ of the story instead of at the forefront. I would like to write about one act of kindness I was shown that made an impression upon me.
One morning near the end of my stay in CR, I pulled into a small family run soda to get a cup of coffee and to ask where I could find a hotel to get a few hours sleep, since I had very little from the night before (long story, wasn’t fun) I politely spoke to the lady who ran the soda for several minutes who told me there unfortunately wasn’t a hotel very close by.
Before I knew it, she had in hushed motherly tones spoken several quick words in Spanish which sent her young daughter scurrying to an upstairs room of the building to make up a bed and straighten up the room. She then offered to allow me to sleep there, take a shower if I needed to, saying I could give her whatever I wanted to pay for the privilege.
The neighborhood seemed fairly decent, and I really had no reason to suspect I was being set up in any way….but still I couldn’t bring myself to be comfortable enough to accept her invitation. She was sweet, her children were clean and mannerly, I just couldn’t get past my own programming around the complete lack of such trust in the culture that I was from, and how strange this was to me that they were going to allow a stranger into their home, even though in this case I was the tired, benign stranger.
After a few moments I clumsily muttered some vague words of thankful apology and feeling too awkward to try and explain my feelings in the limited amount of Spanish I was able to speak, just got in the car and drove away. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I just didn’t know what else to do.
I’ll never forget that nice family. They left a lasting impression of kindness with me, and there were other kindnesses I was shown that definitely showed me the better side of Tico people.
I am a expat that lives in Costa Rica full time. I am of the position that the family was only trying to capitalize on a opportunity to befriend you and make a few colonies. This is not a uncommon occurrence .
Oceanview is correct. There are a few expats who give us a bad reputation but by and large we are known to be generous in a circumstance similar to yours.
There was a possibility that the owner could make a few colones by utilizing an asset that was currently not in use. Think how much you would have valued that chance to rest and what it would have been worth to you.
Money aside, most Ticos go out of their way to be helpful. It is cultural.
On my first visit to Costa Rica I got hopefully lost on my way to Jaco. In a small villiage of about 5 buildings I saw a local coming out of the pulperia and asked directions to Jaco. He motioned for me to follow and led me to the outskirts of Jaco some 32 kilometers away. He then turned around and returned the way we had come with nothing more than a “Muchos Gracias.”
Over the last 7 years, I have visited Costa Rica dozens of times and have spent long periods in the Central Valley. There are too many memorable incidents to relate here where I have had the priveledge to be the recipient of the kind and gentle Tico national character. It is a closely knit small society and most of us come from societies which are quite different.
Over the last 7 years, I have visited Costa Rica dozens of times and have spent long periods in the Central Valley. There are too many memorable incidents to relate here where I have had the priveledge to be the recipient of the kind and gentle Tico national character. It is a closely knit small society and most of us come from societies which are quite different.
[quote=”sprite”]It is a closely knit small society and most of us come from societies which are quite different.[/quote]
That’s exactly it. There’s a societal balance when actions lead directly to repercussions of those actions that is missing in larger societies, a lack of personal accountability. A guy can go to a bar somewhere in Los Angeles, start a fight, skip out on the bill and cuss the whole place out at the top of his lungs, and for the next six months go somewhere else just a few miles away and it’s like that never happened.
It seems like Ticos have been so indoctrinated to be part of a cohesive societal fabric that the mistrust that is essential to survival in larger urban areas is far less prevalent…which is a refreshing change from living in a society where your fellow man is often operating at a stress level where he’s basically ready to rip your throat out over things like improper turn signal usage.
What really impressed me about Ticos in a general sense is that even after all this foreign money came into their country, bought up a lot of desireable land and drove real estate prices well out of line of an average Tico’s income, I still felt very little cultural backlash or resentment in my time there.
I was talking to someone the other night about theft problems in CR, and actually made a reference to this in the context of a passive-aggressive cultural backlash. Americans just seem resigned to accept an occasional theft in CR as a randomly assigned tax for the economic stress and cultural non-assimilation of many foreigners here, almost like a marginally justifiable attitude of “you people have intruded into our society and made things worse here, so as compensation I can take something from you”… not that the average American’s behavior deserves that treatment…it’s that the average American knows the behavior of other less well behaved Americans, combined with stark economic inequalities the American presence here have inadvertently exacerbated are what they are paying this ‘tax’ for.
Still, to be shown such kindness coming from the broken dysfunctional society I have called home was very sweet indeed, especially taking into consideration the negative perceptions some Ticos may have as to how some foreigners have impacted their society.
[quote=”Carl”][quote=”sprite”]It is a closely knit small society and most of us come from societies which are quite different.[/quote]
That’s exactly it. There’s a societal balance when actions lead directly to repercussions of those actions that is missing in larger societies, a lack of personal accountability. A guy can go to a bar somewhere in Los Angeles, start a fight, skip out on the bill and cuss the whole place out at the top of his lungs, and for the next six months go somewhere else just a few miles away and it’s like that never happened.
It seems like Ticos have been so indoctrinated to be part of a cohesive societal fabric that the mistrust that is essential to survival in larger urban areas is far less prevalent…which is a refreshing change from living in a society where your fellow man is often operating at a stress level where he’s basically ready to rip your throat out over things like improper turn signal usage.
What really impressed me about Ticos in a general sense is that even after all this foreign money came into their country, bought up a lot of desireable land and drove real estate prices well out of line of an average Tico’s income, I still felt very little cultural backlash or resentment in my time there.
I was talking to someone the other night about theft problems in CR, and actually made a reference to this in the context of a passive-aggressive cultural backlash. Americans just seem resigned to accept an occasional theft in CR as a randomly assigned tax for the economic stress and cultural non-assimilation of many foreigners here, almost like a marginally justifiable attitude of “you people have intruded into our society and made things worse here, so as compensation I can take something from you”… not that the average American’s behavior deserves that treatment…it’s that the average American knows the behavior of other less well behaved Americans, combined with stark economic inequalities the American presence here have inadvertently exacerbated are what they are paying this ‘tax’ for.
Still, to be shown such kindness coming from the broken dysfunctional society I have called home was very sweet indeed, especially taking into consideration the negative perceptions some Ticos may have as to how some foreigners have impacted their society.[/quote]
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