Kidnapping Supreme Court Justices – Tico Style

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    GringoTico
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    A glimpse into the keen, patient, and non-violent Tico negotiating philosophy. At least this is how I remember it.

    One morning on the way to work I saw the Supreme Court building cordoned off with police barricades. Well, this is ominous. I think it must have been on the radio where I first heard what was going on. Nine Supreme Court justices held captive inside the building by Columbian terrorists! You could almost hear the collective gasp of all the Ticos in the country. “Oh my God, Columbian terrorists. This is going to be a blood bath for sure”.

    It was 1983, and before this, the worst news story I remember in La Nación was “Demonstrators break glass of storefront downtown”. People were aghast at that incident, but now they were absolutely petrified. After all, those Columbians, they’re capable of anything.

    A few days went by, and the terror heightened. They had strapped bombs to the justices’ bodies, and demanded money and a plane. But there were cracks in the reports if you read between the lines. Who were these people anyway?

    Finally it came out. Someone recognized them. They were Ticos (it was an even smaller country back then). “Phew!” What, did the justices turn down their offer to keep an eye on their cars? Everyone was relieved to the max. Clearly, these Ticos weren’t capable of the atrocities for which Columbian terrorists are renowned.

    The negotiations began in earnest. The ringleader was actually quoted in the press saying he’s sorry, but he’s forced to do it. His mother needs an operation that can’t be done here, and he needs the money. Really, I’m so sorry.

    Over the next few days the press was all over this guy’s story, which didn’t check out. He was a known delinquent, but small time. Meanwhile a very astute agent of the OIJ (the local FBI) continued negotiations. We can’t get quite that much money, but how about less? We’re working on the plane, but you know how difficult it is to arrange, what with the strike and all…

    I think it was nine days before they had a caravan to the airport, kidnappers, justices, OIJ agents in tow. All very official. Red carpet treatment almost. I think they negotiated the money down to zero though. After 9 days the kidnappers probably just wanted to get the hell out of there. TV and radio news followed them all the way. This was bigger than even a soccer match between Saprisa and La Liga.

    They got to the tarmac, and were just about to get out of their van when the OIJ agent in charge said something like “well, there’s your plane. Just one thing though. The country that agreed to take you said they’d only do it if you did not bring any guns with you”.

    Like good Ticos, they bought it. Handed over their guns, and promptly handcuffed.

    Oh, and the bombs strapped to the justices bodies? Turned out to be juiceboxes.

    No one got hurt, and the ringleader and his cohorts are still doing time in La Reforma. It’s a good thing they weren’t Columbian terrorists, and it’s a good thing the FBI wasn’t in charge.

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